PLEASE PLEASE help me with my life!!!!!!!!!!!! and anyone know how easy/hard is it to get work abroad?

im 18 and have a really bare cv, and hardly any decent work experience but i have to get out of my house and my town because its literallly making me ill. ive had problems depression/confusion for about four years now. i dont talk to my family, none of them actually know me and my dad is always putting me down. then he wonders why i dont talk, yet i am really confident when im out and about. i keep everything inside and ive been in this cold, tense, struggling rut for so long and i need to escape!i cant get a job, ive dropped two college courses because i didnt enjoy them. i have lost all my friends. everyone thought i was going to do so well with my life in dancing/singing and the arts but ive lost all my pion. i dont even have emotions anymore. probably because of my dads hard ways with me. i used to achieve everyday but now i cant even remember my last achievement. im a strong person but its made me cold. i dont know who i am anymore.....i just want to be happy....:( please hel